Monday, June 10, 2013

Angst and drama and stress oh my!

Alright, so not  much drama really, and most of the angst and stress is coming from internal factors, but darn it what's a blog without the occasional attempt at a Wizard of Oz reference?
Basically I turned 40 on Saturday.  (Pause for gasps of horror as people run screaming from the fossil on the Internet.)  The day itself wasn't too bad, I even got to sleep in which is a very rare treat.  Spent the evening with some friends and watched the Rocky Horror Picture Show.  Wasn't as fun as on the big screen, but it was still good to get back to it.  I used to go every week when I was younger, had a lot of fun and met the woman I wound up marrying.

The angst and stress comes not from the age, I can deal with that, but more with a feeling of over socialization.  I'm a hermit by nature, and the Thursday before we spent with some friends and then Friday I went back over to watch their kid and ours while they and the other half went out to a bar to hang out with some friends.  Apparently 3 days of people is more then my fragile lil brain can handle because I am feeling some major social anxiety today.  Not quite Sheldon from Big Bang Theory, but enough that I am very thankful my office is off away from the others in my department.

So why am I here sharing all this on a very social media site? Mostly some insane hope that writing all this out to the anonymous depths of the Internet will have some soothing effect on my brain.  I named this blog what I did for a reason after all. I know deep down most of what is worrying me is internal, and that it really shouldn't bother me. I also know I shouldn't beat myself up because it bothers me.  It is what it is, and I need to deal with it.

So, I'm probably going to unplug tonight when I get home, turn off Facebook and Tumbler and just hide in my room with either a game or a book and just let my mental and emotional systems detox.  Let everything calm back down so tomorrow I can hopefully come back with a bit more of a positive outlook on things.  My feeds will be a pain to catch up with the next day, but I might just go wild and say the heck with it.  The net can live without me for a day or so.

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